It's Octopuses, Not Octopi

It's Octopuses, Not Octopi

AN OP-ED PIECE
8 REASONS
WE’RE F***ING AWESOME
by Ophelia the Octopus

LISTEN UP!!!!
If you're coming with us to the octopus party, you need to know a few things. One, don't make any jokes about sushi. It's cringe. Two, don't ask if you can touch their tentacles. We know you're curious because you don't have tentacles, but still. Not cool. Three, it's octopuses, not octopi. If you say "octopi," it's not offensive, per se. But they'll look at you like a clown. These purple sunnies won't slip or bounce while you dance with octopuses and have the best flocking night of your life.

Made for Running. Great for Beasting and Biking. 

• Mirrored Reflective Lenses
• For Regular
• Best Suited for Reaching New Heights

LOOK GOOD, FLY GOODR.

1. NO SLIP - goodr uses special grip coating and silicone nose inserts to construct their frames to help eliminate slippage when sweating.
2. NO BOUNCE - goodr frames are flight-weight to prevent bouncing when running, biking, beasting, or exceeding speeds of Mach 5.*
3. ALL POLARIZED - The speed of light got nothing on you. These glare-reducing, polarized lenses with UV400 protection blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays.
4. ALL SPEED - An all new shape built to give you the ultimate speed advantage whether you're crushing beers or crushing your competition.
5. FREE MILE HIGH CLUB MEMBERSHIP - Included with purchase.

*Not tested at hypersonic speed, but…we’re pretty sure.